1.04 Ummm... No Thanks!

Location: Underground

Announcement1:

Rylan plays a drum roll to get everyone's attention - something has been bothering him for a while…

I, Rylan Dergstrom, am put out by this whole "reproducing orc" business. It really doesn't matter if orcs change sex like clownfish, or if they bud like yeast, or lay eggs or whatever. between the flirtiness of the elf, the Farug's exploits, and keeping the orc's clothes on, I see that a preoccupation has taken hold of this party's collective ambition, and we have perhaps lost our way.

What happened to the problem-solving by senseless killing that we used to do? What happened to our renowned reputation as crime fighters? Where is the hate? I feel that this party is going in the wrong direction, and I want to put it back to rights.

From now on, I will only participate in the elf's experiments if they're of tactical relevance or strategic importance (unless she asks really nicely). I will no longer listen to Balas' stories of conquest at night by the campfire (I'm pretty sure they're made up, anyways - you can't use a wand of Bear's Endurance that way), and refuse to personally cast the charm spell for immoral purposes on anybody's behalf.

I hope, by setting the prudish example, we can get back to killing monsters and solving mysteries, and other things we can ALL enjoy. Now, don't make me repeat this lecture, because it will involve my bolas being firmly applied to your tender areas.

Now, if there are no questions, that door looks trapped…


Categories: Storyline, Posts, Posts by Rylan

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